Ghosted… But Still Winning

Don’t you just hate it when you’ve been speaking to someone, and it feels like your moving towards the right direction, and suddenly all the time you invested in getting to know this person just goes like it never happened?

We’ve all faced a fair share of rejection when it comes to finding love. That dreaded moment when you know deep down that it’s gone, but you want to hold on to every last hope. But it doesn’t change the fact that they’ve stopped texting you, and you go to sleep acting as if everything is normal, and they will probably message tomorrow. And the day comes and still nothing.


So you open your socials and see they are presently active, yes that’s when your stomach does a U-turn, and you probably start to question yourself! It kind of feels like your entire world has tipped over, and you’re now trapped in your mind gashing for fresh air.

I know I have felt that way when I’ve longed for somebody, and they disappear without an explanation.

I also believe within that pain there is hope and a reason why that person was taken out of your life. So chin up, shoulder back, smile because you are blessed with unconditional love, and you’re a winner. Like they say somebody’s loss is somebody’s gain!

A Little Sip Into, How I Was Ghosted…

So a couple of years ago I was speaking to this handsome man who pretty much ticked all my boxes. He made me feel so special and that he was totally in this for the long run. Honestly, my man took this relationship to the stage of telling his parents (mother) about me. That’s a big deal if you are telling your mother about us. I’m certainly going to think that my man going to snatch me up and he’s ready to make me his one and only. Let’s Go!

It was a pretty good four months that we were getting to know each other romantically. Suddenly the conversation started to get a bit dry. I would get a response 2 days later after I’ve sent him a message and from there it just became nothing!

At first, as we always hope for is that there busy! I would go on Instagram and I can see that he’s active! So why has he not read my message and not replied? Who knows!

I didn’t want to think too much of it so I let it be and a day went by and another and another, until I decided to message to just check up cause I like to think of myself, as a kind person, and checking up on others is important.

…… he reads it and doesn’t respond! Go on Instagram his putting up stories so I know his alive. Well played.

Weeks go pass, I’m completely heartbroken, similar situation to when Bella was sat in her bedroom watching the seasons go pass in the wait for Edwards return.

Well maybe it wasn’t that deep! But I was so devastated, I really liked this guy and I had fallen so hard. He gave me all the reasons to fall hard for him with the special gifts and carefully delivered words. As weeks go by and months you tend to get over it slowly but surely. But in my case Oh boyyy this man wasn’t done, he then creeped out from the rock his being hiding and start to message me like everything is well. Silly me I took him back and yes history repeated it self again.

This went on for good two years speaking, getting ghosted, taking him back and then disappearing again. But my Lord pulled through and gave me the strength to rebuke this man out of life for good! This experience was certainly heart-breaking but it made me strong and no man now can ghost me and tear me apart has he did. Yes I might just shed a few tears but those tears isn’t lasting longer than 24 hours. Why? Because I am a Queen! And Queens don’t cry over F Boys!

I also wanted to share couple of tips that helped me through the whole experience of being ghosted and trying to find myself again. So here a my top tips on how you can move on from being Ghosted and reclaim your crown.

Reclaiming The Crown

  • Cry – Yes you need to cry it out of your system. There is no point burying the situation so in couple months it comes to hunt you. By crying your accepting the reality and it’s the first steps in getting back to your best self again!

  • Connect with your friends and family for support and open your heart out to them. Letting your close ones know how you feel will make the situation a lot easier to deal with.

  • Develop interest in areas you never thought of before. Starting a new hobby is always good to get your mind away from situation that might be hurting you.

  • Self-Care is also important. Run yourself a bubble bath, do your face, grab a coffee, take a walk in the park and connect with nature.

And remember it may hurt now but it wont hurt forever!

“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.”

Robert Morley

Black Lives Matter

The nation has been hit with such devastation on the death of George Floyd. An African-American man who was killed in custody by a white officer on 25th March, in Minneapolis.

There are no words to express how we’re feeling.

But we are devastated!

Angry, outraged, and tired to the core. Of the unfairness that Black people face because of the color of their skin.

Change must take place! Let us not be silent. We must scream from the top of our lungs. Demand justice for those who brutally taken from this world.

Change must happen for our future and the generations that come after. We must shout and reinforce that Black Lives Matter, not just today, this week, or next month.

It’s time to unlearn any racial biases you may carry and educate yourself on what it means to be anti-racist. While you’re at it, it’s also crucial to share this knowledge with your sister, your brother, mother, grandparents, friends, and anyone you cross paths. We must stand together because, in the Union, there is always a strength. 

On Saturday 6th June, Hundreds of people gathered in Manchester, for a peaceful protest to express the solidarity with Black people, broken by the deaths of, George Floyd, Breonnna Taylor, Ahmud Arbery, Sandra Bland and many others!  

Image by-Photo by frankie cordoba on Unsplash

I am so proud to have been part of this powerful movement on Saturday. And, being young African women, these past months have been incredibly hard to face. Openly, speaking about my own experience to my close ones has been heavy on my heart but so powerful. I encourage people to have these conversations with those close to them. I cannot express my gratitude towards my loved ones and the support I have received from friends, work colleagues, and the world who are demanding change and Standing for what is right.

It is heartbreaking, knowing fifty plus years later we’re still dealing with this issue. But we say enough is ENOUGH!

This is not a Moment! This is a Movement!

No justice! No Peace! Simple.

Saturday 6th June, Manchester Protest
Video by
WeAreZalmi

For further education:

https://blacklivesmatter.com/

man in black long sleeve shirt holding brown wooden board
Image by-Photo by LOGAN WEAVER on Unsplash

BLACKLIVESMATTER!

white and black happy birthday signage
Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

Don’t You Just Love Being You?

“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.” – Robert Morley

Love yourself more and start living the beauty of life.

When you love yourself little extra, you release the fears that’s holding you back, the voices telling you can’t do or be anything! Love is more powerful then these small things that hold us back.

When you love yourself, you start to shine from the inside and this lights reflects on the outside.

You become a magnet to all the good the world as to offer. You draw in like-minded people who respect you, value you, and love you for who you are.

Your energy sends out safety space for those who are in need of comfort. Your smile heals the earth, and when you laugh, Wow you just turn a frown upside down.
Its how you feel about yourself that changes your life.

Right now, start feeling happy, joyful, successful.

Give gratitude, laugh harder, dancer longer and sing louder.

You are amazing!

You are magnificent being!

Every inch of you is beautifully made!

Just like our Queen Rupual said –

“If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”

― RuPaul

Happy Thursday! 💜♥️

How I Manifested My Ring To Me

A couple of days ago I decided to give myself a deep cleansing facial in doing so I took my ring off to avoid any chemicals stripping away the beauty of the ring. Carefully placing this ring on my side table I went ahead with my facial cleanse, twisted my Afro got into my pyjamas, completely forgetting to put the ring back on.

The idea didn’t even cross my mind.

The following morning, I desperately wanted to wear this ring but couldn’t find it anywhere. I searched high and low in my bathroom and bedroom but nothing! Was I going crazy? No, I knew exactly where I left it, but it disappearing like this had me question myself for a bit.

Tuesday 14th, while washing my face I decided to think about my ring and the feelings I have when I’m usually wearing it. I then said to myself “I am so glad and happy that I have my ring on my finger, it feels great to wear this ring every day”. I said those words with passion, love and acted as if my ring was on my finger and everything was okay.

I simply went to bed and no thought about the ring came to me for at least two days. I had forgotten about the ring, let it go and accepted the outcome.

Friday 17th, me and my house-mates had a girlie night, playing games and chatting about all sort of interesting topics. About midnight we all decided to go to bed, as I opened my bedroom door the first thing I saw was my ring, nicely placed on my bed! The hairs on my arms stood up and my mind went quite, I was staggered! I looked around in case someone was in my room which would be crazy, but ayy never say never!

I thought maybe one of the girls found it and placed it on my bed but they all said no. The Whole night I couldn’t sleep I was full of excitement, joy also a little frightened but must of all I had so much gratitude that my ring has returned back to me safely.

To this day I’m still shocked and truly grateful that I was able to manifest something I cared about. It had me thinking about the whole letting go technique of the Law of Attraction. I’m a massive believer in the Law of Attraction and in the past I have been able to manifest some things to me. But with practice, I’m now able to let go and believe that its mine by acting as if through the power of feelings and its simply, done, done, done.

Without consciously knowing I carried out the three steps to attracting my ring back to me, which are:

  1. Ask
  2. Believe
  3. Receive
Anything is Truly Possible

Anything Is POSSIBLE!

I Love My Anxiety

Anxiety comes in many forms, the anxiety you may feel can be completely different to the one your friend or family member may be feeling but the most important thing to know is that you a not alone…

Someday you may feel like covering your anxiety with a smile on your face or staying in bed. Well there nothing wrong with that, we all have different ways of coping.

It seems strange saying I love my anxiety but the truth is I do, it’s part of me and I wouldn’t change it. It has been a difficult journey but I’m at a place where I can say yes I love my anxiety.

What’s made it easier

Talking to Someone

So I’m a Capricorn known to be stubborn and keeping our feelings to ourselves. So yeah, you can imagine opening can be difficult for us and many others too. Over the years of building trust with my family, friends and colleagues opening up has gotten easier and it encouraged me to talk more about my anxiety and learn to live with it and love it. I’ve also realized that I’m not alone.

I guess I’ve always feared being judged and that why for a long time I kept my feelings in. But the amount of people I’ve spoken to and also said they suffer from it, has made realize that it’s normal and maybe I should embrace it.

Over the years I’ve learned to embrace it, love it and find ways to live with it through different techniques that have now become part of my life.

Mediation

Mediation is something I’ve been doing for a long time, I highly recommend this and anyone can do it doesn’t matter if you have no experience at all just start now and I’m sure you will start to feel a lot more calmer, and light and happier. If you’ve tried mediation and it isn’t for you, try breathing techniques such as the 4,7,8 breathing exercise. I tend to use this a lot, and the benefits are great!

What I love about mediation, is that it allows you to acknowledge the fears holding you back, come face-face with them and then let them go.

I enjoy listening to a guided mediation on YouTube. I find guided mediation to be smoothing and increases my concentration, which makes me calmer. One of my favourite guided mediation is Your Ideal Life By Jason Stephenson. I use this meditation daily because it helps me imagine all the wonderful stuff I want in life. After doing this meditation I feel awesome and it motivates me to take action to the ideal life I want. And I’m getting there slowly but surely.

Try it, I’m sure you will love it.

YOUR WORTH IT!!!

Must read books

A read now and again is good for you! Especially when we’re facing such uncertainty. I strongly believe that reading can ease the mind and restore a healthy balance to your life. Also, it’s a great way to escape reality and go deep into your imagination.

But I wanted to share two of my favourite books that I’ve enjoyed reading and learning from these past few months.

How to Own The RoomThis is book is amazing for any women who wants to improve their public speaking skills or who may want to go into TV Host, presenting. This book is here to help and inspire every women out there to be their brilliant self and take control of what they believe in and to not be silenced but to be heard. I am so grateful to have been gifted this book by a close of friend of mine and since then I always refer back to the book when I’m feeling lost or about to present and I need a bit of motivation this book is there for that!

Think And Grow Rich We’ve all probably heard about this book, well this is my 2nd time reading it. The first time I never finished but since Lock down started i felt inspired to pick it up again and finish it this time. Since finishing this book my life has taking a turn the principles outlined in this book is just brilliant and has taught be a lot about myself, life and what I can achieve if I just focus on my dreams and not give up. If you don’t already owe this book, you should!

Must See Movies

Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

TO MAKE A FILM IS EASY; TO MAKE A GOOD FILM IS WAR. TO MAKE A VERY GOOD FILM IS A MIRACLE.

– Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu

I am so excited to share with you my top must-see movies. That brought tears, joy, laughter and changed my way of seeing.

I Origins-This movie was recommended to me by my housemate and I’m so grateful she did! This movie was eye-opening, from the start to the end, I was on edge I could feel the hairs on my arms vibrating! If you’re into Sci-Fiction, Science, and spirituality, then this is a shout.

Never Look Away-This movie was a little different from what I’m usually into. But I’m really into history and learning new things and this movie did that for me. Although its a fiction there is a lot you can take from it. I do warn that the movie is 3 hours long, and you will watch it in subtitles unless you can read German.

The Best Of Me– Simply breath-taking and will leave you speechless. This movie is about fate and second chances and I’m a big believer in those things. It’s a beautiful love story that will shake you up and give you hope. Oh did I mention… James Marsden is in the movie.

The Sixth Sense – If you into the spirituality, unseen world then this movie is a must. Without no doubt it’s magnificent. It’s scary but not over the top, you will not want to take your eyes off this movie because if you do you may just regret it.

Coco– It’s important to follow your dreams and this movie portrays this. It’s such an amazing animation full of love, singing, magical moments, hope, and the importance of family. Each time I watch this I just fall more in love with the movie and it makes my heart melt with love and joy!

I hope you enjoyed my top must-see movies and feel free to leave a comment on your top must-see movies. I’ll be so happy to take a look.

SAYING YES, TO NEW BEGINNINGS….

This is your year to shine and make the impossible….POSSIBLE!! Why not start 2020 with positive affirmations, to align yourself in a vibration to receive your greatest desires and begin new adventures. Let this month be full of extreme prosperity and abundance. January will be a great month for you it will also set the tone for the rest of 2020. So lets begin and end this month in a BANG!!!

Embracing Boredom

Boredom is seen as a negative emotion, an emotion we try to avoid by keeping ourselves busy. But with the power of boredom, we can unlock the mental toughness of our mind and strive for greatness. When I’m in the state of boredom this is my quiet time has it allows me to reflect on my life and see what improvements are needed. It also allows me to learn a lot more about myself and spend quality time looking after me. So why is boredom such a good thing:

Boredom allows you to be more creative. Creativity allows us to come up with great ideas. Everything on this earth started of has an idea which the idea was then put into action and become something GREAT! Just has Albert Einstein says “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution.”

Boredom allows you to be more goal-oriented. I find that creating a vision board of how I want my life to be is fulfilling, the joy I experience cutting up images of a magazine and sticking them onto a board makes me feel very happy about myself and my future. Seeing your goals and things you want can be motivating making you chase after your dreams each and every day.

When you pay attention to boredom it gets unbelievably interesting. Jon Kabat-Zinn

Boredom is not a problem, in boredom we can truly find ourselves.

The Year I will not forget.

2018 was probably one of my years, filled with so much accomplishment and great things, how can I ever forget!

Meeting Les Brown

Lesley Brown is my all time favorite motivational speaker who’s videos completely inspired and saved me at the age of 16 when my life was spiraling out of control. It was a burning desire of mine to attend one of his talks no matter what, to find out that 2018 was the last year Les Brown was ever going to visit the UK made me even more hungry to see him. I was so determined to get myself a ticket. I just remember writing it down in my Gratitude book by Rhonda Byrne that I will attend and see Les Brown this year and nothing was going to stop me…

I remember taking 5:00 am National Express to get to London. By the time I reached London making my way to Central Hall Westminster I knew that my dream was coming true, I couldn’t believe I was here, and I was going to be in the same room as Les Brown. The day was filled with so much excitement and with great speakers, I was so happy seeing the man that had a massive impact on my life come on stage it was breathtaking! I knew that this was going to be one in a lifetime opportunity and I am so glad I grabbed it with both hands and it literally gave me the motivation I needed for 2018. I can say after attending the speak 2018 was my best year so much magic took place in my life.

Funny Experience with Law Of Attraction

I decided to go to London and celebrate Christmas, 21st birthday and last weeks of 2018 with my aunts that I haven’t seen for almost 5 years! On Xmas day I was given a red leather bag from my aunt, which I could rock with many outfits! When I got back to Manchester I simply put the bag in my wardrobe and didn’t even think twice to open it. Hmmmmm

So few weeks into 2019, I decided to watch the Secret by Rhonda Byrne, I love this movie so much and watch it regularly, maybe a little too much. As I was watching the movie I said out loud ‘Hmm, I would love to have a puppy’, I imagined holding the puppy and taking good care of it and I felt really good about it. So when the movie finished, I wrote down my gratitude which is something I do every night before bed so I can wake up feeling grateful and ready to conquer the day ahead.

I remember waking up the next morning feeling refreshed and excited about what the day will bring. As I was putting my shoes on I thought to myself hmm it would be nice If I used a different bag to work. So I went to the wardrobe and got the red leather bag that I had received for Xmas. So I decided to put my notebook inside the bag as I open it, I was mind-blown what I had found inside…

A puppy teddy bear.

I was literally taken back to the night before, I had visioned having a puppy, I just sat down for five minutes and laughed I swear there were even tears involved. Like was this for real?

Although it wasn’t a real-life puppy, It made be released that if I had written it down and been more specific with the universe of what I wanted I probably would have been blessed with a real puppy. For me, this just proves that the Law of Attraction listens and the more specific we are with what we want it can surely deliver. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.